University // The Truth

Hello again!

I’m back today with a topic I feel is relevant to this time of the year for a number of people; the bigger picture of university, living away from home and daily struggles I have experienced through my past two years. It's a long one so grab a cuppa and get ready.

Ok so first things first, this blog isn’t going to be all negative. University is an extremely independence boosting experience in which you grow as a person in so many ways and I am grateful for that experience of course. Moving away from home can be terrifying at first and it is really easy to feel lonely, but with a good set of people around you, you’ll be fine! I’ve written more positive posts in the past so check them out if that’s what you’re looking for!

However, there is a dark side of university that isn’t highlighted half as much as it should be. It is often referred to as the best years of your life, but this isn’t true for everyone and mental health is a major factor when considering uni. If you searched on twitter ‘uni and mental health’, you would find endless tweets of people complaining about the decline of their mental state and comfort…surely this is something to be considered and highlighted to prospecting students.

As mentioned earlier it’s easy to fall under the spell of loneliness and self-doubt (thinking people don’t want to be with you). And that is totally understandable, you’re living with people you’ve never met/lived with before and it can be hard to judge other’s signs and signals. Whether you’re living in a hall of 12 or a house of 6 by no means are you written out of the possibilities of feeling alone.

I definitely have fallen victim to this, however this is of course no fault of those I’ve lived with. Being the omnivert I am I find it difficult to throw myself into situations if I feel uncomfortable or shy; which in the beginning of both years was very apparent as I sat in my room a lot, but once you find people you’re comfortable with and begin to slowly push yourself out of your comfort zone you will be fine! The best thing to do at uni is anything that makes you happy.

In addition to this, multiple newspapers have published articles over the summer of 2018 raising the concerns of mental health declines in relation to university. A big part of this discussion was again the best years of your life mindset. When researching and applying to universities at school, this is something you’re told on a daily basis and this type of mantra can pressurise students to make sure they feel this is true. It can lead you to feeling bad for not having a good time because it is supposed to be all highs and no lows, but this isn’t realistic. University can be hard. And it’s okay to accept that, hold your hands up and look for help, because a lot of students don’t and this can makes things worse!

Finally something I have struggled with, is the support university give you. Whether it be academic/welfare related or other, universities claim that they have services available to everyone for everything, but from my experience this is a lot easier said than done. During the beginning of my second year I was struggling staying in a new house and being away from home, so I contacted the student wellbeing team but to no avail – apart from 2 weeks later. More recently though, this summer I was on the hunt for a placement (as part of a sandwich year) and when I say hunt that is no exaggeration. No matter how much I struggled, every time I went to a career advisor they just gave me more websites to search on, no application help or even links to relatable placements.

This meant I spent my whole summer searching for a placement, and putting part time jobs on hold as I thought I would find a placement…I didn’t. This ended up in me being unemployed for 3 months, the prime time when everyone wants to go out for drinks/dinners and days out but I had no money of my own. Whilst I had the emotional support and financial aid of my mum, it was difficult because at the age of 20 you don’t really want to be dependent on your parent’s, do you? 

I began avoiding going out, seeing or speaking to friends because I felt like I had nothing to really 'give' and no one really understood the situation. I couldn't afford to go and do what I wanted whenever or go to the gym or go shopping. I was at my lowest point and resented the situation I had been put in which was hard because although I had the greatest support from my family and boyfriend who would tell me daily not to give up and that things would look up, this was a temporary fix and I would end up going over and over my current situation in my head, only making me feel worse about myself.

Of course, this doesn’t last forever, and at 3 ½ months I was hired at a company I’d previously worked with which I knew was going to work alongside my uni lifestyle as I will now be a commuting student. It is still difficult accepting the fact I will be returning/commuting to university without those closest to me as well as the fact that I was unsuccessful in finding a placement when other friends were able to, the biggest part of this though is ACCEPTING that this is all part of life.

Highlighting the lows isn’t a means to put people off the idea of university at all but to help those understand that it is so common for students to go through times of loneliness/depression and anxiety due to academic/social or professional matters. It’s important that students know it’s okay to reach out for help or to talk about how they’re feeling, everyone’s university experience is different.

If you made it to the end then, I hope you enjoyed today’s somewhat heavier blog, and please share to those you think may need it!

Until next time,

Shannon xx